The Fine Art of Forgiveness

October 17, 2004

The Rev. Dr. Anthony J. Godlefski, Pastor

Montgomery United Methodist Church

Jeremiah 31: 27-34

The days are surely coming, says the Lord, when I will sow the house of Israel and the house of Judah with the seed of humans and the seed of animals. And just as I have watched over them to pluck up and break down, to overthrow, destroy, and bring evil, so I will watch over them to build and to plant, says the Lord. In those days they shall no longer say: “The parents have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge.” But all shall die for their own sins; the teeth of everyone who eats sour grapes shall be set on edge. The days are surely coming, says the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah. It will not be like the covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah. It will not be like the covenant that I made with their ancestors when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt—a covenant that they broke, though I was their husband, says the Lord. But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. No longer shall they teach one another, or say to each other, “Know the Lord,” for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, says the Lord; for I will forgive their iniquity, and remember their sin no more.

Dear brothers and sisters in Christ, good morning! I want to talk with you today about the fine art of forgiveness. Let me ask you, how do these words strike you? “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Will you forgive me? Can we still be friends?”

How do those words strike you? Can you picture someone who really needs to say those words to you saying those words to you? I know it can be a stretch. Picture it anyway. “I’m sorry. I really am. I never meant to hurt you. Will you forgive me? Can we be friends?”

Wow! Those are life-changing words, aren’t they? There are those in our lives from whom we wish to hear those words, but we may never. Yet there are others in our lives from whom we may hear those words. And when that happens, what a change takes place! What energy is released! What tension is melted! What business we can get on with! Forgiveness – it’s a powerful thing.

After Jesus rose from the dead, He came back to visit His friends and disciples. He went up to each of them and took them by the shoulders. He bent their heads forward, and He breathed upon them, the gospel says. And He said to each of them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. What sins you forgive, they are forgiven them. And what sins you retain, are retained.” In other words, what sins you don’t forgive remain unforgiven.

What was that about? He was trying to say that forgiveness has cosmic significance. It’s big. Our willingness, our state of consciousness about forgiving or not forgiving, matters a whole lot. As a matter of fact, forgiveness is a property of God. It’s something that God does. And as we forgive, we participate in a grand, cosmic, divine act.

Forgiveness is powerful stuff. It’s a remarkable power you have. Someone once said that one of the greatest powers we have is the power to let go. Forgiveness is about letting go.

A child is doing his best to carry a plate, a breakable plate, and trying to do it with a bit of style, and then he drops it. The plate smashes. The child looks up and says, “I’m so sorry. It was an accident. I didn’t mean it.” And in that moment one’s heart is sort of torn in two directions, because you really liked that plate. But then you look at the child’s face and you see the mixture of sorrow and grief, wondering what you’ll think, and waiting for your response. It’s probably a nanosecond, but it seems like forever.  You look at the child, take a deep breath, and say, “Honey, it’s okay. You’re worth more than all the plates in the world.” And you know in your heart that long after that plate is forgotten, what you did will be remembered – for a year, or ten, or twenty, or maybe seventy, or maybe more. Forgiveness is a divine act.

What should you do about forgiving others? Let’s see what the scripture says. I invite you to take this scripture to heart. Now, the thing that I get really excited about with this scripture is that there are clues that these words that your eyes are reading were read by the eyes of Jesus Christ. I’d bet the farm on it, and I’ll show you why.

First, though, let’s get through this strange statement, “The days are surely coming, says the Lord, when I will sow the house of Israel and the house of Judah with the seed of humans and the seed of animals.” What does that mean? That, my friends, is called a word-for-word translation, the New Revised Standard version of the Bible, from the original Hebrew. What it means is, “The day is surely coming, says the Lord, when I will increase the population and I will increase the cattle supply; I will increase your prosperity. Things are going to get better.” That’s what that means. That’s what the New Living Translation says.

“And just as I have watched over them to pluck up and break down, to overthrow, destroy, and bring evil, so I will watch over them to build and to plant, says the Lord.” That means, “I was with them when things were bad; I was beside them when things were all going to pieces. But I’m also going to be beside them as things start to prosper, as things start to get better.”

Now, Jesus is reading this. He’s reading the phrase, “The day is surely coming. The day is surely coming.” And Jesus knew in His heart that He’d be ushering in that day. Isn’t that wonderful? Amen? Amen! He knew it.

“In those days they shall no longer say: ‘The parents have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge.’ But all shall die for their own sins; the teeth of everyone who eats sour grapes shall be set on edge.” What does that mean? That means that, in the Old Testament way of thinking, the sins of the father are visited on the third and fourth generations. In other words, people said the reason they were having such a hard time was that their grandfathers and great-grandfathers committed sins and the consequences are visited on them. But the Lord is saying the day is coming when people will take responsibility for their own actions and will be free from blaming past generations for what’s wrong in their lives. They’re going to be free. “Set on edge” means pucker.

“The days are surely coming” – are you ready for this? Hang on! – “says the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah.” I urge you to underline the words “new covenant” in your Bibles. That is the first time we find that expression in the Bible. Guess who picked up on that expression? “This is the cup of the new covenant, in my blood, which is shed for you and for many, that sins may be forgiven.” Jesus saw it here and said, “I am the fulfillment of that scripture.”

“The days are surely coming, says the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah. It will not be like the covenant that I made with their ancestors when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt—a covenant that they broke, though I was their husband, says the Lord.” What does “I was their husband” mean? It means that “I loved them like a husband loves a wife. I loved them like a wife loves a husband.” They broke that covenant, but this is going to be a new one that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord.

“I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts; and I will be their God and they shall be my people.” What does that mean? The old covenant, the Old Testament way of thinking is that the law is written in a book, and if we follow the letter of the law, we will be acceptable to God. And the Lord is saying that in the new day, the new covenant, the law will be written on the heart. That’s the Jesus way. Not just by the letter of the law, but by the law of the heart, the law that says “Is this the right thing to do?” The law that says “Is this loving?” The law that says “Does this make sense?” The law that says, “What would Jesus do?” That’s the law that’s written on the heart, and Jesus knew He was the fulfillment of it.

“And I will be their God, and they shall be my people.” You see, you get a hint here of what God is feeling. God needs to be our God, and God needs us to be His people.

“No longer shall they teach one another, or say to each other, ‘Know the Lord.’” In other words, no longer will people need to browbeat each other and say you have to know God as a punishing God. God says there is a day coming when they won’t have to do that. 

“For they shall all know me” – it does not say “they shall all know about me” or “they all shall know about me second-hand.” No, it says, “for they all shall know me.” Never let go of the Jesus you know, that you know, not know ‘about’, in your heart is your personal savior.

“From the least of them to the greatest,” from the slave to the king, “says the Lord; for I will forgive their iniquity and remember their sin no more.” Look at the double forgiveness; I will let it go, and I will not remember any more. I will take the bad things, the regrets and the mistakes and the sins and I’ll highlight them and hit the delete key, permanent delete, leaving only the good stuff, only the belovedness of you.

Forgiveness is a powerful thing. So how about us? How do we deal with people who have hurt us? How do we deal with adults who have hurt us? Friends, please remember that the word ‘forgive’ comes from ‘give forth.’ Let it go.

My dear friend and the lay leader of this congregation, Matt Brucker, shared with me his definition of forgiveness. I think it’s fantastic. “Forgiveness means let it go to God.” Let it go to God! Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you have to go on a four-week camping trip in a pup tent with the person who hurt you. It doesn’t mean you have to be buddy-buddy. But it means, let the hurt goes so that it doesn’t consume you. You can get on with the business of living every precious God-given moment you have. Forgiveness means let it go to God.

Now, one more point, please. Good Christian people gathered in this room or listening or reading, maybe you’re saying “You know, Pastor, I really don’t have too much of a problem with this forgiveness thing.” Well, let me add one more level to it. How are you doing in the department of forgiving yourself?

I was reading a book this summer about forgiveness. I read advice about the health-giving properties of forgiveness. I thought, “I do pretty well with that. I don’t think I hold grudges. I’ve done a pretty good job of letting go of the hurts people have caused me.” And then, the book went on – how about yourself? Are you accepting the forgiveness of God for yourself? Or are you the kind of person who is very generous about forgiving and understanding others, but who is an absolute perfectionist about yourself? How are you doing with that?

I came to discover that for me, there was a lot going on under the surface that I had not forgiven myself for. But we’re called to, aren’t we? I think of an older colleague, about fifteen years ago, who asked me to comment on some work he had done. Sometimes when people ask you to do that, what they’re really saying is “Please like this.” I didn’t understand that at the time, and I was going through a very stressful situation. I took him at his word and I told him what I thought. And when I came to my senses, I thought, “What have a done to this wonderful man?”

I went back to him. I apologized. I said, “Please forgive me. I did the wrong thing.” And he did! And then I wrote to him and asked him to forgive me. And he did. And we are friends to this day. And I came to realize that I had a lot harder time letting it go than he did.

How about you? Will you invoke for yourself the kindness and forgiveness that you offer others? It will set you free. Forgiveness is a divine blessing. Know that when we confess our sins, when we confess our mistakes, God not only forgives, He deletes. And that frees you to do wonderful things, to give out the blessings that God has put within your heart.

May it be yours today. May you forgive others, and may you let God forgive you, and may you forgive yourself. Because God loves you. I do, too. Have a blessed week. Amen.