You Are Never Alone

March 9, 2003

Arlene Bougher, Lay Speaker

Montgomery United Methodist Church

Good Morning. The title of my message today is “You Are Never Alone”. There is a story I’d like to share with you. It was 1949, and the Poliovirus was rampant. A young girl, only four years old, woke up from her nap screaming because she couldn’t move her legs.

Her parents took her from their home to a local hospital where she was diagnosed and then transferred to a larger hospital, to be quarantined in a polio ward with many other children. The ward was one large room that held several rows of single beds and adjoining restrooms. One long wall of the room was mostly glass, so that hospital staff could keep watch and parents could visit their child without entering the ward. No child was allowed outside the ward. And very few adults were authorized admittance. It was a world unto itself.

The little girl felt homesick, away from her family for the first time. But after the pain of separation from her mother, father, brothers and little sister, she found a sense of adventure and independence as she climbed up on the high beds to watch the older boys and girls play board games or pester the house keeper to let her help sweep the floor. Her mother and father made the long drive as often as they could, but on every visit, they were separated from their daughter by that thick glass wall. As much as her family ached to hold her, they couldn’t. So each time they came, they brought evidence of their love, that a four year old might understand, stuffed animals, fancy pajamas, and Golden Books that the nurse could read to her. She was happy with the presents, but with all of those children and nursing staff available, she still felt lonely.

The little girl was blessed, and after a month of being quarantined, she was deemed healthy, and allowed to go home. When her parents came for her, they learned all the gifts they brought, were burned, because of fear of cross contamination. But the girl was so happy to be going home with her mother and father and to once again see her sister and brothers.

In our own lives we may feel like that four-year-old child before she was allowed to race out the door of the ward, beyond the glass wall and into her mother’s arms… believing we have everything our lifestyle can bring to us and yet… we are lonely. Why? Because yes, folks, there it is…

…this glass wall that stands between us and the real thing … God’s love--- and His greatest gift to us, His only Son, Jesus Christ. God is with us as surely as the little girl’s parents stood on the other side of that glass wall waiting to be reunited with their healthy child. Our wall is self-constructed. All we have to do to dissolve it is to turn away from distractions that separate us from our heavenly parent. We ask our selves, “Where do we find Him? In the quiet of the night---or in the middle of our daily hustle and bustle, as we stop to take time to meditate on His word, Listen, be patient, and pray. He is always with us, waiting for us to turn around and recognize the evidence of His love, and for us to realize He is as close as our thoughts and emotions. In the gospel reading today, Mark 1: verse 10 reads “As Jesus was coming up out of the water, He saw heaven being torn open and the spirit descending on him like a dove.” In that moment, I understand a wall was dissolved between God and all of humanity. We are never alone, whatever form the barriers take, whether they are beyond our control or self constructed, He is there with us. (Pause)

My husband and I were at a neighborhood gathering one cold night many years ago, sitting in front of a roaring fire. As we talked with friends, I realized that even though we had so much in common, there were so many different points of view in that room on any given subject, and to add to that, the group was wonderfully rich in religious diversity.

That evening, contented and relaxed, the crackle and glow of the fire reminded me of my own faith, the warmth I felt in my heart for God and our Savior giving me solace and strength in what could be a cold world.”

That faith was a gift from a woman who was an expert in tearing down walls. From a very young age my mother was our spiritual exemplar, bringing us to church, reading the Bible, praying, never preaching, but quietly living her life, showing us that she knew God was always with her, helping her survive the multitude of burdens she faced every day.

My mother was six months pregnant with her fifth child when I contracted polio in that fall of 1949. But I remember spending a great deal of one-on-one quality time with her, all through my childhood. I still don’t know how she did that.

Then, all of a sudden at the age of 37, she was a young widow. As far as I knew, there was no bitterness, no blaming God. For this eleven year old, there are only memories of quiet conversations, late at night. We explored my nightmares about my father’s death, her words removed a wall of fear, brick by brick, and built an armor of faith for me, as she talked about God, the absence of pain and suffering after death, and a place called heaven. I can’t remember her specific words but I know from that point on I had no fear of death. It was a time ripe for wall building but instead she helped me build a bridge to faith. I knew I would never be alone.

In Romans 8:38-39 we read, “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

My mother had a stroke a few years ago and as her memory continued to fail, it was necessary to move her from Francis Asbury Manor, a Methodist residence for independent living, to Manor By The Sea, a related nursing home. There she is well cared for, in a bright and cheery place with caring staff. Even so, I feel

The roles of mother and daughter are reversed. Now it’s up to me to provide quality family time when I visit. There is no glass wall, but there is a great barrier to our common memories. She knows her children and old friends, but facts of her history are blurred and confused. Although she has retained her wonderful sense of humor (and the ability to correct my English), she has no short-term memory at all. It’s my turn to bring her many little gifts and flowers, so that perhaps for a day or so after I leave her, she will remember I was there.

When I visit, we spend time in the lounge, or I pop in to listen to a special music program with her or we have funny little conversations as I trim her hair. But on a recent visit I found her taking an afternoon nap. While waiting for her to wake, I filled a vase with water and flowers and placed it, along with a little stuffed lamb on her tray table. She woke and smiled at the flowers, then saw the lamb, picked it up and hugged it. I picked up her Bible from the nightstand and asked, “What’s your favorite Psalm, Mom, I’ll read it to you.” She gave me a blank stare. I could see her mind working as usual to think of something funny to say and cover up her memory loss. Quickly I said, “I’ll read you my favorite.” As I began reading Psalm 121, “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help?” my mother began reciting the whole Psalm, word for word with me. I excitedly flipped backed to Psalm 23 and started reading “The Lord is my shepherd.” Again she recited the words with me. I began to make a game of it for her. “Let’s see if you know this one.” I said, as I turned to the next page and started reading Psalm 24, “The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness there of.” Once more she was with me. I was joyful. In those moments, as we read and recited the Psalms together, my mother’s wall of memory dissolved and the unrelenting power of God’s word in her life became evident.

I have found in my own life that most of my barriers are self-made. What I Perceive to be brick walls, may turn out to be paper.

Sometimes it’s hard for me to turn away from worldly distractions. But if I listen for His gentle voice, and I am patient and pray, then I know God‘s love, I experience His support, and my walls dissolve.

At our Ash Wednesday service, this last week, Pastor Tony extended an invitation to consider casting away the negative clutter in our lives and fill the space with something good and positive.

I will add that in this process, walls may dissolve and you will feel closer to God and know …you are never alone.

God bless you. Have a wonderful week.