Forgiveness
March 14, 2004
Matt Brucker, Lay Leader
Matt. 6: 9-15
"This, then is how you should pray: Our father in heaven, may your holy name be honored; may your kingdom come; may your will be done on earth as it is in heaven, give us today the food we need. Forgive us the wrongs we have done, as we forgive the wrongs that others have done to us. Do not bring us to hard testings, but keep us safe from the evil ones.
"If you forgive others the wrongs they have done to you, your Father in Heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive you the wrongs you have done."
Matt.18: 21-35
" At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask "Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?" Jesus replied, "Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven."
The kingdom of God is like a king who decided to square accounts with his servants. As he got under way, one servant was brought before him who had run up a debt of a hundred thousand dollars. He couldn't pay up, so the king ordered the man, along with his wife, children, and goods, to be auctioned off at the slave market. "The poor wretch threw himself at the king's feet and begged, "Give me a chance and I will pay it all back." Touched by his plea, the king let him off, erasing his debt.
"The servant was no sooner out of the room when he came upon one of his fellow servants who owed him ten dollars. He seized him by the throat and demanded, "Pay up! Now!" " The poor wretch threw himself down and begged, " Give me a chance and I will pay it all back." But he wouldn't do it. He had him arrested and put in jail until the debt was paid.
When the other servants saw this going on, they were outraged and brought a detailed report to the king. "The king summoned the man and said "You evil servant! I forgave your entire debt when you begged for mercy. Shouldn't you be compelled to be merciful to your fellow servant who asked for mercy?"
The king was furious and put the screws to the man until he paid back his entire debt. And that is exactly what my father in Heaven is going to do to each one of you who doesn't forgive unconditionally anyone who asks for mercy."
I am so pleased to have the opportunity to talk with you all today as Pastor Tony and the confirmands are off enjoying their spiritual journey in New York City. Our prayers are with them as they enjoy fellowship time and an opportunity to learn more about our faith.
Last week, I asked Pastor Tony what I should preach about. Should I stick to the lectionary, should I speak about current events such as the awful tragedy in Madrid this past week?
He simply said "Preach about whatever is on your heart. Focus on what you want people to feel when they leave the service."
And so, my friends, I am going to do just that today. I am going to share my thoughts regarding the power, grace and challenges involved with forgiveness.
The act of forgiveness is a whole lot harder than any sermon makes it out to be.
Well, let's start with the basics. What does it mean to forgive?
Well, there are a lot of formal definitions that can be looked up for forgiveness.
To excuse for a fault or an offense;
To pardon.
To renounce anger or resentment against.
To cease to feel resentment against, on account of wrong committed.
To absolve.
We heard a speaker at our church retreat last month talk about setting realistic goals when we set out to undertake improvements in our lives. He advised against "taking on climbing Mt. Everest" during the first week of your "renewed fitness commitment" for example.
Rather, Pastor Jeff Markay, who led the retreat for us, urged us to start off with goals that are more achievable, less daunting, and less likely to result in disgusted resignation and withdrawal from a well intentioned initiative.
I believe this is wise counsel when it comes to practicing forgiveness. You may want to start with forgiving your neighbor for accidentally running over your lilac bush with the mower - as opposed to making peace with a parent whom you have a lifelong and extremely emotionally charged set of challenges to cope with.
The yearning to be forgiven for our sins, our trespasses, and our mistakes – and to be graceful enough to forgive others, is a particularly powerful one. I read a story Ernest Hemingway told about a young man who wrongs his father and he runs away from his small town to the city of Madrid. His father, consumed with worry and guilt, takes out an ad in the city newspaper's classified section. It read simply "Paco, meet me at the Hotel Montana, 12 Noon Tuesday. All is forgiven. Papa."
Now, Paco is a rather popular name in Spain, similar to Michael here in the states, so when the father gets to the hotel, he finds eight hundred young men, with stressed, yet hopeful, looking faces waiting for their fathers and the promised forgiveness.
If you saw an ad with your name in it, might you think it was intended for you? What would your ad say? "Matt, sorry you never called when you said you'd stay in touch after Sally and I divorced. I miss you, and realize it must have been tough to get in the middle back then. But all is forgiven. Call me at 874-9559, and let's get together." Or "Bob, your mother is sick. Please come to the hospital, we all need you. Let bygones be bygones while there is still time."
On a personal note, the past months have been particularly trying ones for me. I have been confronted by and had to deal with some memories and people from my past that are not pleasant.
In fact, these are things that I had boxed up and put away, moved on from, risen above.
These memories included people and actions that hurt me, put me in danger, lied to me, and disrespected me and my beliefs on numerous fronts, during very different seasons in my life.
As I have wrestled with these recollections, I have been crossing my finger and thumb in the act of silent touch prayers at a furious pace! I have been breathing deeply, praying, and sharing my concerns and needs with my best friend, Debra, and our friends.
But mostly, I have been trying to focus on doing a better job at forgiving these people for their acts. I have been giving these things up to God. Not necessarily handing them off to him, saying here you go God, deal with this and let me know when it is fixed and I can feel better about it so that I can swing by and pick it up.
Rather, giving it up to God for me personally means involving God heavily in reviewing the situation and thinking about how to respond, where to find the grace to do the right thing.
During this time, this church family has prayed together the Lord's Prayer each and every week, as we always do. A phrase in the prayer has been especially bright and powerful in its impact on me lately: "and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."
What a powerful, impressive, confident and frightening statement. Have you thought about what you are saying out loud when you pray these words each week?
When I was younger, I used to hear these words as meaning " God, forgive us our trespasses at the same time as I forgive my trespassers." Sort of like "set the table Mac as Theo pours the milk." Concurrently, happening at the same actual time.
But, I've come to understand the words to mean "treat me, forgive me, exactly the way that I forgive others that have wronged me."
Others have translated this phrase as "Forgive us our sins to the extent that we forgive the sins of others."
As we read in this mornings scripture reading from Matthew, "And that is exactly what my father in Heaven is going to do to each one of you who doesn't forgive unconditionally anyone who asks for mercy."
In that light, how are you feeling about your likely treatment when you trespass against others, when you wrong them? Are you good, on solid ground to be forgiven gracefully and unconditionally? Then God Bless you, because I for one get mighty nervous contemplating this arrangement.
As we move through the days of the Lenten season, I think of forgiveness, as well. I am constantly reminded that Christ paid the price. He died on the cross and washed away our sins with his own blood. He sacrificed himself so that our considerable sins, collectively, would be forgiven.
Much like the first servant in this morning's scripture, our King has gracefully forgiven a most considerable debt. And all he has asked in return is that when others come to us in need and ask for mercy, we give it to them. Piece of cake, right? Not exactly! But we must strive for it.
What pain or discomfort are you willing to endure to forgive others, to grant unconditional mercy to others, in your life? To ask for forgiveness from somebody?
It is unlikely you will need to physically shed blood.
But will you swallow your pride?
Will you pick up the phone and call somebody and tell them you love them and it is time to talk about what happened – how did we let this go on so long?
Will you revisit painful memories and say yes, I forgive you, to somebody whom you denied this precious and blessed gift to at some point in your life?
Will you admit to some wrong you committed against somebody, where you missed the mark and sinned and have never come clean and asked for your trespass to be forgiven?
Only you can answer these tough questions. Won't you ask them today when you leave church, and when you go to the Lord in prayer this week?
For me, the answers to these questions I was just asking and others like them have a lot to do with grace. And grace, when I really listen closely to it, says " I won't give him what he has coming to him or deserves, I will forgive him. Because God has told me to forgive unconditionally, and he gave his only son so that my sins, and yours, would be forgiven."
Forgiveness is the key which unlocks the door of resentment and hatred. It breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.
May you, may I, find ourselves ever better at giving - and receiving - forgiveness - gracefully.
Amen and Peace be with you.