Straight Talk for Father’s Day

June 20, 2004

The Rev. Dr. Anthony J. Godlefski, Pastor

Montgomery United Methodist Church

Psalm 42: 1-6

I Kings 19: 1-12

Galatians 3: 23-39

Luke 8: 26-39

Dear brothers and sisters in Christ, good morning!

Happy Father’s Day! I want to preach this morning about this text:

“When the wise men saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with His mother, Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped Him. Then they opened their treasures, and they presented Him with gifts of gold and frankincense and myrrh. And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route.

“When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. ‘Get up,’ he said. ‘Take the child and His mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill Him.’ So Joseph got up, took the child and His mother during the night, and left for Egypt, where he stayed until the death of Herod.”

This is the word of the Lord. Thanks be to God.

Our message this morning is entitled “Straight Talk for Father’s Day.” I’d like to talk to you about this verse from the gospel, and about this verse from the book of Proverbs: “Raise up in the way he should go, and when he is older, he will not depart from it.” I would like to dedicate the sermon this morning to dads, to foster dads, to father figures, to patchwork dads, women who are both mother and father, and to all of us, for after all, we all have fathers. Straight talk for Father’s Day.

Dear friends, in this gospel reading, we heard the story of perhaps the ultimate patchwork dad, St. Joseph. In our Christian doctrine we know that God, our heavenly Father, is Jesus’s ultimate Father. But St. Joseph did the earthly work. He protected the Holy Family when they needed protecting and supported the Holy Family when they need supporting. And so must we.

And so, dads, I would like you to consider three things in supporting your family. Number one, speak your love. Number two, shine your light. And number three, point to God.

First of all, fathers, speak your love! Say it out loud. Just do it. Your children are longing and starving and yearning for your good word. You can’t say it often enough. If you’re afraid of repeating yourself, go ahead and repeat yourself. Err on the side of repetition. Fathers, speak your love. Your children need to hear you.

Oh, I tell you, I so wish my dad would have been able to. I was raised in a European home, a very European home where it was not fashionable for men to be affectionate to children or to say too much for fear you might spoil them. What, in heaven’s name, does that mean? Spoil them? You know what spoiled means? Spoiled means unappreciative. A child is not spoiled because they have the things they need. Speak your love, and speak it again.

Some men can only speak in gesture. My dad was one of them. My dad spoke in gesture. And I cherish every gesture of love he had for me. Dad would build things for me. He built me a bookcase to house my seminary books. I cherish that. He built the conductor’s podium for me out of an old school desk and strong boards. It was lost, unfortunately, and I miss it to this day. He built a crèche for a Christmas pageant I was doing in one church, and this was Dad’s way of saying “I love you.”

I remember a couple of words of affirmation he said to me, and I cherish them. I’m 52 years old, and I’ve cherished them all these years. Dad, speak your love. Say it out loud. Your children deeply need you. Say it directly and say it indirectly. Praise the things you love about them. Praise who they are. “I love your eyes. I love your smile. I love the way your voice sounds when you talk to me on the phone when I’m so far away. I feel so sad when work pulls me away. I feel so sad when I have to do other things and not be with you. Child, I love you so much.” Speak your love to them.

Second, let your light shine. Shine your light on the good things, dads. Say, dads, let me ask you a question. Where do we shine the light? We have a choice. We can play gotcha, or we can play good job. Which do we do? It’s so easy to shine the light when there’s a mistake. Do we shine the light when kids are doing good things? Catch your children doing something well, dads. Don’t be like the child in the story about little Jimmy. Little Jimmy was born into a home, and he didn’t say anything. He didn’t talk. A year went by; two, three, four years went by. He didn’t say a word. The parents got worried and took him to a doctor. The doctor checked him out, and he said, “Your child is a perfectly healthy, normal, bright boy. He’s just not saying anything.”

So the parents went along with it. The child was five years old. They were sitting at dinner; the child was eating his dinner. And out of the blue he puts his fork down and says, “These vegetables are cold.”

And the parents said, “Jimmy, Jimmy, you finally said something. How wonderful! Why didn’t you say anything before?”

And Jimmy said, “Everything was all right up until now.”

Don’t be that way. Say it when it’s good. Encourage your child when they’re doing something, even a little something, well. Encourage even when they’re going in the right direction. Say, friends, I’m sure none of you have ever done this, but if the child comes home with a report card and has moved from a C to a B, instead of asking why he didn’t get an A, say how wonderful that he moved from a C to a B. Catch your child doing something good, won’t you? Where do you shine the light? Shine the light on the good stuff, dads, won’t you?

And the third is point to God. Fathers, mothers, your children have no greater teacher than you, and your greatest teaching is your example. Have you seen the commercial on TV where the father and daughter are sitting together spreading peanut butter on a piece of bread? The father folds his bread in half. The little girl looks at him and says, “Daddy, why did you do that?”

He says, “I don’t know. I guess my father did it.” And then next thing you know, the little girl is folding her bread in half.

Children learn what they live. Know that the example you’re setting is going to be a lifetime one. Point them to God, won’t you?

Some of you have noticed, if you’ve sat in a meeting with me and tried to tell the time by my watch, that my watch is set fast. I always say that’s so that nobody can fool me about what time it’s going to be in 15 minutes. But I’ve always done this. At a family gathering, my sister noticed this. She said, “Anthony, your watch is fast.”

I said, “I know. I’ve always set it that way.”

She said, “You know, your father did the same thing, and it drove me crazy.”

And then I remembered, yes, Dad did. Friend, children learn by your example. Point them to God, won’t you? not just by saying so, but by exactly what you’re doing this morning – being in church, being here. Oh, friends, your children will remember. Raise up your child in the way he should go, and when he is older, he will not depart from it.

One last word – this sermon would be dreadfully incomplete if it weren’t for this last word. And the last word is thank you. thank you, dads. Thank you, foster fathers. Thank you, patchwork dads. Thank you, everyone who has been like a parent. Thank you, because I know you’re doing your best. Thank you for the tears you’ve cried when you’ve been far away and wished you could have been with the children. Thank you for the hard work you do to support your children. Thank you for the love you share and the example you give. After all, the clearest picture we have of God is a father and mother. And I believe it’s from Him that the word comes.

Thank you. God loves you. I do, too. Have a blessed week. Amen.